I am so confused............

I have no idea what I am going to do. I can not go on living like this. I am so much in love with A and I have no way of showing it. She says it will not be right on our parts to throw away our parents happiness and expectations just so we can be together. I cannot figure out what the hell happened with her. Wasnt she the one who had wilingly come out to her mom? She was the one who insisted that we dont need to make our decision to be together legal cause marriage is a mere formality,what matters is a union of the hearts! Sounds pretty hollow to me now. I mean I feel bloody trapped and so com[pletely helpless. I need her to be here with me. i am lonely,and not lonely for ''someone'' but lonely for ''her''. Please,please come back A,I cant stand this anymore. No more of this okay,I really mean it. We have to figure out a way to be together......we really do.....